Tip Our Hats: Internet Evaders

Everyone in our life seems to be on some social networking site. We get a steady stream of friend requests from people we weren't interested in knowing when we sat next to them in the same classroom during the '90s, much less when they live two timezones away, work at a mortgage company and feel compelled to post constant updates about their coffee consumption.

However, it is very jarring to meet a guy who has given the finger to the whole social networking thing. After you first meet, you try to see if he's single by doing a quick MySpace search. Hmmm. Nada. A Facebook inquiry falls flat. A Linked In or Twitter profile? Forget about it. Even a basic Google search for his name produces nothing except a small mention about his college radio show six years ago. Who is this guy? If you can't click on a little picture of him to learn about his interests, does he really exist?

Your mind races in an attempt to justify his off-the-gridness: maybe hes too poor to have a computer, maybe he is a Luddite, or maybe he just doesn't give a fuck about carefully crafting an online persona. Whoa.

After you get over your annoyance at his scant online presence, a wave of relief will wash over you. It's kind of rad that he doesn't know what a Superpoke is. It's refreshing that he will never throw a virtual snowball at you. Now, he's mysterious. He is simultaneously cool AND hot. You'll have to find out what his favorite movies are the old-fashioned way; by asking him!

So, for you guys that keep us guessing, we tip our hats to you even though we hate that we can't stalk you as easily as we'd like. We love how you seem so mature for being over it, even though you were never into it in the first place.