This Week: Break Up Extravaganza

Alright Internet, I’m just going to come out with it: I got dumped. This should come as no surprise to anyone--least of all me--because, well, I write for a dating blog. And not just any dating blog, but one that extensively details the failings of men and women all over our fair city of Philadelphia. What else was I expecting? Did I really expect this guy to be my prince charming? I mean, I know I called him that when he’d pick me up on his way home from work to cook me dinner at his house, but I mean, I didn’t really believe it. Right?

Actually, Internet, the sad truth is that I did. I was that gullible, that dumb. What a bummer. And, the biggest bummer of all is that I don’t hate him. Isn’t that how you're supposed to feel, post-breakup? Aren’t you supposed to despise the dude who just, “broke your heart?” Well, I don’t. Not even a little bit. I still want him to take me to the planetarium for my birthday. I still want to go to Puerto Rico with him in March. And, I still want to spend an excruciatingly painful day couch shopping in New Jersey with his dumb ass. C’est la vie.

But what I’m quickly realizing is that he’s not my prince charming. And that’s okay. As much as I want to do those things again--and as hard as it is not to email him those things after three beers on an empty stomach at the POPE celebrating Obama’s inauguration--I know that we’re not right for each other. It’s hard to accept, but it’s there and I know it. Besides, I’m still pretty miffed that he dumped me via email. I mean, how can you romanticize a dude who would do that?

Where was I going with this? Oh, right. I got dumped. And once I finished stuffing my face with a pint of Ben & Jerry’s Half-Baked, I put my sticky fingers to the keyboard and emailed Anna to suggest a breakup special. I mean, it’s almost Valentine’s Day and you know dudes are dropping like flies, freaking out about chocolates and hearts and roses. So, get ready Philadelphia, we’re going to give you our Shmitten Kitten Guide to Break Ups, including tips on how you should and shouldn’t call it quits, our favorite breakup supplies and guides, how to make your next move, and how to use your breakup to your advantage.

So put on your pjs, grab some snacks, and join us for our Break Up Extravaganza! We'll be doing posts on this subject all week. Oh, and just because we're girls doesn't mean this stuff doesn't apply to dudes too. Just make the appropriate gender substitutions. It works. I swear.

Do you have some sage wisdom on this subject? Email us at hi@shmittenkitten.com to commiserate with our dumped asses.