Tip Our Hats: Neighborhotties

You're the cute boy we constantly run into as we run errands in the six-block radius around our apartment. We exchange coy smiles as we wait for the #48 bus in charged silence. We run into you at the local cafe when we make a quick coffee run before a job interview. And, we dodge you at CVS when we have our hair bunched up in a floppy ponytail as we stock up on maxi-pads and deeply discounted Valentine's day candy. Who are you?

Any attempts to interact with the Neighborhottie will backfire. Mark our words: he will disappoint you. He'll have a lisp, bad breath or nose-holdingly offensive body odor. He'll have some strange job that will render him instantly undateable, like he's participating in a sleep study at Penn four days a week and can only hang out Monday mornings. Or, he'll have a girlfriend and it will transform your awkward flirting into just plain old awkwardness. Treat the Neighborhottie like a baby panda at the zoo; appreciate the cuteness--stop and stare if you must--but resign yourself to the fact that it ain't comin' home with you.

However, we give you Neighborhotties out there props because running into you while we sprint to the corner mailbox to return our Netflix gives us an unexpected jolt (and makes us wish that we had swiped on some undereye concealer before we left the house.) We tip our hats to you for keeping us on our toes and reminding us that you never know what's around the corner.