Tip Our Hats: Old Skool Cell Phones

It was about two years ago that the iPhone made its debut. At first, we were pretty impressed when a guy whipped it out. We oooh-ed and aaaah-ed as he got all Minority Report on it; grabbin' text and moving photos around with a swipe of his finger. In fact, we were so enamored with the gadget that we actively sought iPhone users out, cozying up to their touchscreen ways.

Now, however, to paraphrase Shania Twain, fancy cell phones don't impress me much. If anything, they are a distraction. How many dates have I sat through watching the object of my affection fiddle with his phone? Too many to count! Apps = naps. Snore.

This tech burnout has made us nostalgic for a time when a cell phone wasn't a portable entertainment center that could calculate a tip or check stock prices on the fly. These chunky phones were heavy, scratched and tucked away in his pocket, where it belonged. The damn thing was like a cat on its eighth life: it had been dropped on the sidewalk, used as a doorstop, and even doubled as a ping-pong paddle once during a particularly rowdy barbecue. That cell phone was indestructible!

The ringtones were tinny, polyphonic and sounded like they were recorded in an East German discotheque. They could be heard from across a crowded restaurant (alright, we don't miss that part.) But, aside from that, the phone was basic and out of our face; just the way a cell phone should be.

So, old skool cell phone users, we tip our hats to you for not annoying us with your gratuitous gadgetry. We like how you don't even know that your phone has a camera on it. It's just better for all involved.