Bonerkiller: Dramatic Internet Quitters

Let me guess: you're quitting the Internet. Again. First, you gave the finger to Friendster. I remember you wrote a lengthy bulletin about how you were going to delete your profile because you were sick of everyone all up in your business. Groan. 

Then, I remember when you quit MySpace and wrote another lengthy bulletin about how the whole site was a waste of your time. I barely noticed when my friend count clicked down a notch, but I guess I was happy to know it was from your hissy fit and not because I bummed someone out.

And, then you took your Flickr page down because you didn't like strangers leafing through your photos. So, now that you've decided to quit Facebook in a huff, I can't say that I'm surprised.

Despite your expressed desire to be off-the-grid, you keep popping back onto the grid every 8 months. Which is fine, whatever, but I don't wanna read your mini-breakdowns every time you decide that you lose interest. Frankly, you are not good at quitting the Internet. It's like if i told a guy, "I'm not going to talk to you anymore." Don't tell him that! Just stop talking to him! I figured that one out in sixth grade.

So, all you Internet quitters out there, get stuffed. Hearing about your disinterest in the World Wide Web and reading your stupid missives about how you're sick of wasting your time on a site is about as exciting as watching this season of Entourage, i.e. not very.