Bonerkiller: Gelled, Stiff, Spiky Bangs

Oh, spiky bangs, how I loathe you. When I see them on a guy, I immediately picture him in his mirror applying product to the front of his head, sculpting his bangs to get them all crispy and pointy like that. It's goofy.

Those bangs jut off his head like they're trying to give my face a noogie. Honestly, he looks like 98 Degrees' understudy. I'll admit that I thought that this look was cool for, like, five minutes in early 2000. (If you must know, it was during the video for 'Nsync's "Bye Bye Bye.") But, that was almost ten years ago! I also thought that the Stokes were going to save rock 'n' roll with their stripped down, garage band aesthetic. I was wrong on both counts. Back to the bangs; I don't understand why guys continue to do this to themselves. See what I mean?

Stiff, spiky bangs are the worst. I would rather die than have them touch any part of my face or body. The only time this look is acceptable is if you are a six year-old with a stuffed tiger as a best friend: