Flippin' Our Shades: Josh Kaplan, Cheese Monger

Dating a designer or musician is almost cliche. But every once in a while you meet someone who has a truly original job. I recently met an artist that draws the little cartoons on all the Trader Joe's packaging, a skydiving instructor, and my personal favorite, a cheese monger. Yup, one of our very own Philly dudes, Josh Kaplan, spends all day slicing, eating, and educating the public about cheese.

Josh is a cheese artisan, not to be confused with the hoagie-boy from my local deli that I dated in high school who speed sliced American by the pound. Cheese mongers like Josh are the royalty of the cheese people and the Bubba Gumps of the cheese world. He can ramble off facts about any of the roughly 1200 different cheeses he deals with on a weekly basis!

Can you imagine dating a cheese monger like Josh? He's hot even to the lactose intolerant. Can you fathom the intensity of the grilled cheeses he would make if you were feeling sick? There'd be like 50 cheeses on it. Or the breakfast-in-bed cheese omelettes? I'm melting just thinking about it. I didn't even know people like this existed. Plus, look how adorable that face is. We got to chat with him:

SK: What does a girls' cheese choice say about her?
Josh: If a girl eats cheese, particularly gourmet or artisan cheese, it is a statement of self confidence: “Who cares about fat content? I look good and when I eat this cheese I feel good, too.”

Would you ever date a girl who hated cheese?
Josh: A girl who hated cheese?! If she is willing to write off every cheese (all 3000 or so) based on limited experience, what else won't she do? I would never date a girl who isn’t searching for a new culinary experience.

SK: We want a cheesesteak! Now! What cheese would you use?
Josh: Taleggio, a washed-rind cheese from northern Italy produced from the foothills of the Italian Alps. Taleggio is a velvety and slightly sweet cows milk cheese that melts like a dream over seared steak, adds just the right amount of salt to the mix and is well accepting of cracked black pepper. Philly-o-sophically, however, I am against calling a gourmet steak sandwich a “cheese steak" as they are two different foods. The only cheese on a cheesesteak is wiz. [Lora's note: he has street smarts despite his vast, cheesy knowledge!]

SK: How the hell does cheese relate to dating and romance?
Josh: Cheese can be great when dating! It is an indulgence and necessity wrapped up into often sensual flavor profiles. What is better than a late spring picnic in the park with crusty bread, a bottle of light burgundy, and a decadent triple cream? Pre-packed produce and cheese in perfect geometric shapes deprive us of the romance of eating. Sharing a meal is intimate, particularly when we allow ourselves to be more closely connected to each other and our food.

Whoa. We need to take a minute to catch our breaths after that last answer. You can join us this Friday to hang with Josh and some other handsome cheese dudes and local brewers at Di Brunos for a cheese/beer pairing. Josh, we raise our toothpicks to you and all of your kind.