The way a man wears his backpack can tell me a lot of information: Mainly, would I ever agree to be seen with him out in public or not. We like a simple backpack on our men, nothing too intense, bizarre, strappy, or kitchy. But, really, we are mostly concerned about how he wears the thing. Worst case: One loosened strap over the shoulder. I don't want to date a guy who looks like a sixth grader in a hurry. What are you, a weed dealer? You know what the Hunchback from Notre Dame, Eurotrash, and Screech from Saved By The Bell have in common? They all look like you! It's hard to take a guy seriously who rocks this look. I will avoid eye contact. I will pretend I don't speak English. I will get the RCs (retard chills) and deny any friend requests he sends me from here on out.
Good case: Both straps on shoulders. Much better! Well, now he looks like a citizen with good posture. He looks like he had a good night's sleep, ate a balanced breakfast and did his homework. He probably shows up two minutes early to appointments. Yes, I would love to take a stroll around the park with you, young man. Cheerio!
Potentially best case: Both straps on shoulders along with the harness straps clicked into place. That buckle tells me that he values security. He is high-tech. He uses a laptop. He carries his phone charger around with him. He will text you back in a timely manner.
I mean, look at Patrick Stump over there. How cute is he all bundled up like that? I just want to run up to him and tighten that strap with my teeth. Is this how guys feel when they catch a glimpse of our bra strap? His backpack gear is basically a garter belt for his chest. Check yes to that.
Honorable mention: This isn't even a backpack, but a guy with a messenger bag is totally ok. If done right, it can make him look like a scrappy English professor. If done wrong, it can make him look like a 1997 music convention attendee.
Did we miss anything? Do you agree? Leave your comments, in the, uh, comments.
11 comments:
I tend to judge more based on the type of backpack rather than the method of carry. If a guy's got a sweet technical Gregory or Arc'Teryx backpack that looks like it's been through a lot, he's a hit in my book. DAKINE backpacks and other similar brands read "poser," unless he's wearing it while snowboarding. They're right up there with fake expensive jeans and t-shirts with graphic tees from Express. Just my humble opinion.
That dude has A+ 'chops
Messengar bags FTW!
So funny, I went to school in the 80s and the 'one strap over one shoulder" was THE way to wear a backpack. It was the nerds who used the 2-shouldered method.
Times change! Thank god!
P.S. Having grown up in the 80s, I absolutely despise the current retro 80s look. Ugh. My teenager daughters think it's new. Ha!
I tend to disagree. For me it's:
1. Messenger bag.
2. Backpack both straps.
3. Backpack hanging off one shoulder.
4. Backpack with clip fastened.
I'm still trying to figure out how a tote bag/briefcase fit into this.
strap across the chest = potentially not very interested in women
@Ed No way! Plenty of boys buckle up.
i was the nerd who double strapped it when i was younger! it was so cool to permanately disfigure your spine by carrying 50lbs of books on one side!
i once dated a dude who was that nerd with the laptop and the security buckled bookbag. it was charming for a while, but at the bar? at dinner? this bookbag was like his purse. drop the bag, man.
What are the retard chills?
retard chills aka douche chills aka a full-on body shudder you do when someone does something lame.
Ew, so would NOT date a douche who strapped his backpack to his chest....
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