October 21, 2009

Phrases We'd Like To Stab In The Face: "You Deserve Better"

Without a doubt, hearing this phrase makes me want to invent a time machine, go back in time to five minutes before I met the guy who is saying it to me, and beat myself up ala Tanya Harding--anything to stop myself from meeting him. As soon as I hear the word, "you," followed by the syllable, "des-" I'm out the door, deleting his number from my cell phone as I walk away quickly. I don't want to be associated with this guy for one more second. Of all the phrases we've talked about wanting to stab in the face, this one is by far the worst for me to hear. Of course I deserve the best! What am I gonna say in response? "No, I don't deserve better." There's nothing left to say once it hits my ears. 

I think back to when we first met. He tried so hard to impress me, showing me off to his friends, telling his family about me. We held hands. We gazed into each others eyes. He fought for me. However, once he tells me that I "deserve better" in his breakup speech, it pretty much means that he's given up. He's thrown in the towel. He's waving the white flag. Fuck that white flag and fuck him.

Attention all future boyfriends who plan on breaking up with me: if you tell me that I deserve better, I will make like L7 and pretend that you're dead.

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