Tip Our Hats: You Sent Me A Letter Through The Mail, Like An Old Timey Human

Imagine my shock when I reached into my mailbox and saw a letter from you nestled in with my Macy's bill and Netflix DVDs. Look at this little gem! Is this your handwriting? It is! I've never even seen your handwriting before. It's looks like a chicken having a seizure wrote the letter, but I don't care. It's a letter for me from you and I freakin' love it. I want to throw it up in the air and twirl around my living room.

It tickles me to think of you sitting down in a chair, writing this letter, then ruffling around your desk for an envelope. You had to write both of our addresses on it, which is adorable. And, I'm picturing your little tongue licking the stamp. This is so cute I'm gonna die. I think that I will have a heart attack and die, you little stamp licker. You even decorated the envelope a bit. Wow.

AND THEN, to top it all off, you walked all the way down the block and jammed this letter into a mailbox. I'm just picturing you slipping on your sneakers, locking up your apartment, walking down the block, and pulling down the mailbox to put MY LETTER in it. Weeeeeee! Hold on, let me smell this bad boy. *takes a deep sniff* Ahhhh. It smells like effort and caring! Well, mostly paper. Truthfully, it smells like paper.

[Not to get all senior thesis on you here, but I can't believe the way we've come to fetishize something as basic as sending a letter when I'm so used to being bombarded with text messages and email. Technology, what the hell?]

Where was I? Oh yeah. Guys who send letters like an old timey human. Just so you know, I love this letter. I'm going to put it in my special shoebox where I put all of my favorite letters. You sir, just made the shoebox cut. Well done.