Bonerkiller: Guys Who Prop Their Sunglasses on Their Head

These guys think that they look like this; a rock 'n' roll rebel who doesn't give a fuck about speed limits, a bar's closing time and whether you have a boyfriend or not. But, in reality, he looks like an old, rumpled Cabo Wabo-er with a bug-eyed, wiry tiara perched on his head.

Guys who use their shades as a fashion accessory are the same kinds of guys who think Hank Moody from Californication is a badass because he bangs college chicks and has a dusty Porche. Don't these guys know that if they just folded their shades into the collar of their shirt they'd look roughly ten thousand times better?

I might seem hypocritical because I've propped my sunglasses on my head from time to time. However, I do it because it keeps my tresses out of my face, like a functional headband. Also, I'm a WOMAN. It looks cute on me!

This look is only acceptable on a guy if he's a beach bum, a lifeguard, or a Hollywood has-been. Unfortunately, this oily bohunk before me is none of those things, so he should knock it off. Anytime I see a guy who looks like this at a party, he's usually macking on some girl that is insanely out of his league. And, if he turns his tequila-fueled attention to me and asks, "So, what are you doing after this?" I feel like he's one hard sneeze away from hurting either himself, me or both of us with his ill-secured accessory. His stupid sunglasses on his dome are both a hazard sign AND a yield sign all rolled up in one.