Real Talk: You Know I'm Going To Show All Of Your Profile Pictures To My Friends And Family, Right?

What part of your brain thought it'd be a good idea to post a picture of yourself with a pool noodle sprouting out of a Speedo, cupping a bowl of plums under your crotch? Yeah, it's funny in a Borat outtake kind of way, but dude, I'm totally going to show all of your pictures to my friends and family when they ask me about the new guy I'm seeing.

This isn't your high school locker; people who you don't know will potentially see these pictures you posted. How do I know this? Because I plan on showing it to them! They will form opinions about you based on those pictures. I will form an opinion on you based on those pictures. I feel like your high school baseball coach yelling at you to get your head in the game.

I have no idea what goes through your head when you go through the dozen or so steps it takes to upload a photo. You have several opportunities to hit the cancel button. But, you affirm at each separate stage to show the world your wacky pics. Wow. Just, wow.

Now, the burden is on me to explain to everyone I show 'em to that you're really not this fucktarded, but you are actually a nice, normal guy who happens to take silly pictures. As a head's up, that's a little hard to do when you're posting a picture of yourself gettiing a pretend blowjay from a Ronald McDonald statue.

[Huge props to my buddy Justin for letting me use a picture of him slumped in a fridge with a pizza on his head. This guy rules so hard!]