I know there's been a heated controversy over who deserves more scorn, dating someone with a cat or a dog. Me? I can't stand any of 'em. Your dog jumps on the bed while we're spooning and stomps on my face. Your cat is a little dickhead that hisses at me when I try to walk in the kitchen. They both get on my nerves. I'll take it one step further: your fish is boring. Your hamster's cage smells like urine-soaked wood. Your rabbit poos everywhere. Your bird is a squeaky motherfucker. Your pet rat freaks me out. If you have a snake, I wouldn't return your phone call, much less come over to your house to meet it. And, you already know how I feel about your giant, uncaged iguana.
The only pet I don't completely hate is a plant. All it needs is water and a little love. That you can keep.
7 comments:
How did you get to be so dead inside, Anna? HOW?
Hahahah! ...Rent the movie "Please Don't Eat My Mother" and tell me how you feel about plants after...
I should've posted a picture of Audrey II from Little Shop of Horrors. Should I change it?
Plants are pretty, but kinda boring though. Plus, they tend to die on me. I don't know what I do wrong. I guess I'm an animal person. I love pets, and I dig guys with them. Though I wasn't thrilled when my ex's praying mantis lunged at me twice. Little bitch. But I've been enjoying the heated dog/cat/world issues debate going on between the guys!
I can kill plants with such speed and efficiency, I'm surprised a logging company hasn't hired me to just walk around a forrest and grim reap all the trees for them.
I completely agree Anna! Pets are the worst! I pretty much hate animals of all types. And pet hair all over the house? NO THANKS!
bwahhaahah! this is awesome. :)
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