I don't need to be Col. Mustard to figure out this mystery:1. You called me up out of the blue despite the fact that we haven't talked in months, even years.I'm like the breakdown in the song, "Shout!" Now, waaaaaaaaait a minute. You think that I'm your back-up, don't you? I'll bet you think I'm just hanging out in your back pocket waiting to be called to service, like a reserve marine or a gift card to California Pizza Kitchen.
2. You divulge that you just broke up with your girlfriend almost immediately when I ask how you've been. Boohoo, I know.
3. You ask to meet me for a drink. Soon.
I'M NOT YOUR BACKUP! I guess I'm flattered that you'd keep me in your rolodex/ black book/ spank bank, but I'm honestly not interested.
7 comments:
HAHAHA. The breakdown in "Shout!" reference is killing me.
I am guilty of doing this to guys, but I don't tell them I'm newly single...I just get my ducks all in a row and get my single self back in the game ; )
colonel mustard and spank bank are killing me!
Colonel Mustard killed you! With what? What room?
No! Col. Mustard figured out that I, Miss Scarlett, is some schloob's backup hookup girl! With a candlestick. In the study. Or something.
Ha! "Schloob" will be entering my vocab.
This vignette was a bit of a self-esteem boost for me. Just when I thought I was the most clueless guy around... Thanks!
the use of the term 'spank bank' gets a high five
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