Great News: You Fucking NAILED Your First Date Outfit!

I don't know if you have a sister that's a stylist or a sassy gay best friend or what, but I gotta say that I'm FUCKING FLOORED with your first date outfit choice. A cardigan, cool sneakers, crisp jeans, A FREAKIN' NECKTIE! Oh lawdy. *mocks fanning myself*

You nailed a Triple Lindy of first date outfits. This is a perfect 10. Holy shit. I mean, I thought you were pretty cute when I met you last week, but I had NO FUCKIN' CLUE that you would whip this perfect outfit together. Did you go shopping? Were these clothes just chillin' in your closet? Were they on your floor? No! Don't tell me. It'll ruin it.

Fuck the Picasso exhibit at the Art Museum because your outfit is the real work of art in this town. AND fuck Subway and their sandwich artists because your outfit is the REAL ART here. You're an outfit artist. They should make a statue of you dressed just like this and put it in the park for all mortals to admire.

You know what? Fuck this low-key BYOB shit. I'm taking you out on the town, my dear. My friends have got to get a load of you.

Shhhhh! Don't say anything. Just let me look at you. Wow. This will work for me. I can really see us together. I SAID DON'T SPEAK! Just let me take it in.