Well, look at what we have here! *sits up straighter and bats eyelashes as he walks past me with his iced coffee* I'm not sure why he'd need a red bandana as an accessory when it's 96 degrees out and we're smack dab in the middle of a sweltering city, but I'm lovin' it (sang to the tune of the McDonald's jingle).
Is he a bank robber? A ranch hand? A bandit? I don't know and I don't care because he is the cutest guy on this block. He's like if a unicorn and a bottle of hot sauce mated. HE'S ADORABLE! He probably has a PhD in Breakfast Burrito Preparation with a minor in Horsing Around.
I will not picture him tying it around his neck. I will not imagine how it smells (probably like neck sweat and stress, I'm guessing.) I will not picture him buying it. I will just pretend that it's always been on his neck, like a cute deformity.
Just don't tell me that he still uses MySpace to email people. Don't tell me that he's the xylophone player in a student alt rock band. And, don't tell me about how he probably only dates teenagers and doesn't talk to his dad. Shhhhhh. Let me just stare at him and enjoy it, like a double rainbow.
4 comments:
"He's like if a unicorn and a bottle of hot sauce mated"
Really enjoyed this post!
i am glad you admitted that the typical dude wearing such a thing is totally douchey. but i'll allow you to indulge in the view ha ha
OMFG I saw the perfect example of this at work the other day. I may have scared him because I said "Oh WOW! I love your jaunty bandana!" He was approximately 19, with a girl and probably didn't know the meaning of jaunty.
Ha! That's awesome.
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