Things In His House That Make Me Glad: Cable TV

OMFG, HDTV! Seeing a dude who has cable TV is like winning the couch potato lotto. So many channels. So many shows. So many options. It's mesmerizing. It's like your fun options have quadrupled just because he has that cable box.

Wanna watch "The Mighty Boosh" on Adult Swim? Done. Or "Top Chef All-Stars" so you can marvel at how someone like Stephen exists? Go for it. Fuck, you can even watch the sorta-interesting new David Cross show on IFC about him going to Britain and acting like a dimwit. No one is watching it, but now you can if you want 'cause he has the channel. Success!

After dating tons of guys who've had the absolute worst television options imaginable, it's a downright delight to see his huge cable package. Who wants to slum it up by going back to the guy who only watches Netflix on Demand on his computer over his crackly Internet connection? Yeah right. Not this boob tuber. I wanna feel his powerful remote in my hand and I wanna bathe in the glorious light from a Showtime Original Series show. 

Cable TV, FUCK YEAH!