Bonerkiller: Watching Him Cry Over Something Stupid

I'm not talking about when he wells up over something genuinely crummy, like his pet kicking the bucket or the news that his grandfather passed away. Those are legitimate bummers. We're all in agreement about that.

I'm talking about how much it sucks watching a guy cry over a sports loss or the ending of a sappy movie. Seeing his nose get red and his eyes get twitchy over some bullshit is not hot. 

I'm a HUGE hypocrite on this issue because I cry all the time over all kinds of stupid things. I always weep at the end of The Office Special when Dawn comes back for Tim and they kiss. I sob like a baby at every The Locator episode I've ever seen. I've even cried during certain Dr. Phil episodes! My crying bar is set quite low.

And--sidenote--I have NO IDEA why Sarah McLoughlin chooses to be the soundtrack to the most depressing ad ever, but I can't even deal with .04 seconds of her animal shelter spots. Forgetaboutit.

It's alarming how much I cry at dumb shit, but that's exactly why he can't be a crier as well. He's gotta balance me out. I'm aiming for harmony here. He can't be next to me nipping at the tissue box wiping away his cry snot too.

He has to be the one that's all, "You're seriously crying at this commercial again? TURN IT OFF! Jeez." He can even gently rib me about it: "Want a rattle too, you big baby?" That'd probably make me laugh which is great for everyone involved.