R.I.P. My Crush On Him

Well, we had a good run there, crush-wise. For a while there I was on top of the world, finding him endlessly fascinating. Sure, we weathered some storms, like the Ignoring Me on the Street Fiasco of 2010 and the Nothing To Talk About In A Loud Bar Disaster of January 2011. But I still thought we'd make it, as crusher and crushee. I mean, we've lasted this long so why not? 

I used to do this when I'd get ready to go out: I'd look in the mirror and think, "What if I run into him tonight? Am I happy with this dress?" Then I'd shake my head no and toss on a lower-cut dress that showed off my rack better. He'd get in my head like that, as a good crush should. 

But lately, I don't feel that spark. When he uploads a new picture, I don't even click on it to silently judge him and the girl he has his arm around. It's not in me anymore! I know, NO ONE is more surprised than me that it's come to this. After too many months of him not making a move, it's time for me and my low-cut dresses to move on to greener, more receptive pastures.

R.I.P. My Crush. Donations can be made to my Sipping White Wine Like A Classy Lady fund (because now I don't have to get trashed to work up the courage to talk to him.)