Which one is the ultimate sin: A guy who looks part-werewolf and might scratch you inadvertently or a guy who wakes up hacking and coughing from his nasty habit? A guy who looks like he plays bass in a goth band or a guy who's hair, clothes and skin all smell like a moldy ashtray?
This:
I'll post the winner on Friday. Any predictions on who will take the title? Leave 'em in the comments.
26 comments:
What kind of whiny square girls pushed "heavy smokers" to the top of this list. Yuck. Yeah I'm ok with you forcing me to do all these "blowjob shots" BUT YOU BETTER NOT SMOKE AROUND ME
I will tell you why heavy smokers are annoying: it's a disgusting, dirty, expensive habit. Kissing a smoker when you don't smoke is gross. Watching him hack and cough first thing in the morning is gross too.
Plus, it's a constant presence in the relationship. He'll only want to go to places where he can light up. He'll always step out while you're out for dinner or drinks to light up, interrupting your time together. He'll always re-route your activities so he can get more cigarettes. It's a nuisance!
Listen when girls tell you that they don't like dating heavy smokers. We're just being honest.
Other things he will interrupt to smoke:
1. Watching a movie on the couch.
2. Cuddling first thing in the morning.
3. Going over for dinner to your parents' house, he'll need to step out for a cigarette after dinner and before dessert.
That's just off the top of my head.
And, I hate being in either the car or house of a heavy smoker. It depresses me.
Well heavy smokers hate being around whiny squares.
Plus
smoking has gotten me way more girls than not smoking. Want to talk to a girl you see at the bar? Invite her outside for a smoke instead of shouting over the newest Kanye jam.
Plus all those girls who "hate" smoking somehow end up thinking I look sexy while I do it.
They are the same ones who hated beards until they dated me (and until it became hip to like beards).
WOMEN BE FICKLE YO
Yeah, well I like guys who drink but I don't want to date an alcoholic. Alcoholics get girls too, but it doesn't mean that I wanna stick around to deal with his unhealthy, harmful habit.
Biggest boner killer? Girls who read to heavily into every move a guy makes. Zing.
I think smoking is one of those things that girls say they don't want but will cave on.
Long fingernails on the other hand (PUNNNNNN) are a non-starter. Ew.
Howe bout pour grmmer?
Biggest bonerkiller? Not making me laugh.
Biggest bonerGROWER? Guys who decide to engage me in the comments section of my blog.
What's a girl's boner to do? CONUNDRUM.
I feel like Anna's been dating the boy version of me. Hook me up with your ex-smoker boyfriend, I'm almost out of my pack and need someone to bum off of.
Ha! I would in a heartbeat, but he already has a new girl and she's a great fit for him. They're a cute couple.
I know my ex is gonna read these comments and roll his eyes at me. If he is reading this, sorry I'm hating on smokers, bud! Plus, let's hang out on Thursday. And, I'm going to make you buy me a beer because my birthday is on Sunday and I probably won't see you before then.
Loved beards (and continue to) since before they were 'hip'. Have always been completely turned off by smoking. I am no fickle woman ; )
But this is really tough, since I can't stand smokers but I also love fingers when they're used in .... specific ways ; ) The thought of Mr. Wolfman attempting those particular ways makes me shudder with repulsion.
Sigh. I suppose Mr. Wolfman could use other tools, whereas there is no escaping the grossness of Mr. Scary Smoker.
how didn't this: http://www.shmittenkitten.com/2009/04/bonerkiller-you-are-missing-prominent.html
make the list?!
I've written over 150 bonerkillers and it was tough to only pick 16 for this challenge. I thought guys who were missing a tooth was ultimately too esoteric. Maybe next year I'll include it!
I've had a beard for ten years, 4/5 girls hated them before last year and now I get giggles and points from hipster broads. Strangest thing: all of them claim to have loved beards forever! I bet they've loved flannel forever too. I guess all those girls that hated my beard before died in the tragic MGMT bandwagon crash of 09.
Also ew to the broad talking about getting fingerbanged on the internet.
Emoticons don't make it cute.
Biggest boner killer...wearing fucking sweatpants and ugs everywhere in the city like it's okay. You aren't at a ski resort. Or for the summer uniform, cheap sundresses and shitty rubber flip flops, when you aren't at the beach.
Hahaha Anna! I totally understand! I just stumbled upon the missing tooth bonerkiller today as one I had never read before and laughed! I loved it and all of your pieces of work.. I think someone should compile everything into a book!!
I'm sorry I just can't believe loud chewers didn't automatically win. Gag.
I once dated a guy who I thought was just a social smoker. He never interrupted dinner to smoke, and the weather was nice so I didn't mind sitting out on my balcony, conversing with him while he smoked a couple cigarettes. I was into him! After a few weeks of dating, I finally went over to his apartment... only to discover that he smoked indoors! Sitting on the couch. Ashtrays everywhere. It smelled disgusting. Boner KILLED
Heavy smoking because that's a tough habit to kick. Really long fingernails? You can clip those bitches while he sleeps. Problem solved.
You could clip them while he sleeps, but long fingernails are just a symptom of a larger problem. What's next? You find out he actually wears a leather duster and he's growing out his hair to match Taboo from the black eyed peas? Ick.
As far as which is worse...
Nails can be cut very easily. And I know a lot of musicians who play classical guitar and need long fingernails. All in all, there are some things that are WAY worse then long fingernails
Smoking, however, is a much more difficult thing to cut from your life. I mean, how many people do you know that have tried to stop and struggled through the whole thing? And seriously, who under the age of 40(ish) started smoking without hearing the serious health risks involved with the disgusting habit? Smokers almost always have really dirty cars because of the smoke, dirty apartments because of the smoke and when you go home after hanging out with them all night, you smell like an ashtray too. Gross.
oh my god, Keith Richards is my worst nightmare. Just sent you a comment via Twitter, but i'll say it here too... Guys pick their noses all the fucking time. And a guy with long fingernails is basically just better at it than most. GROSS!
"whiny square girls" Really? Why sip so hard on that haterade bottle damn
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