Good News: He's Not Social Media Savvy

I've managed to suss this out after only ten minutes of talking to him. When I asked if he was on Twitter, he just smiled and shook his head no, saying: "I don't live under a rock or anything. I mean, I've heard of it. My co-worker tried to explain it to me once but I didn't get it. She said it was like basically text messaging a bunch of strangers? Yeah. Whatever."

Then he said that he was on Facebook but that he only uses it to check out bands he likes and to see when they tour. He hasn't even uploaded a picture to his profile yet! It's bonkers: he's basically social media illiterate.

When I told him that I write a blog, he shrugged saying, "That's cool. I never got into the whole blog thing. I've read a few sports ones but that's about it." He thought I'd be disappointed with that answer, but it's the opposite: I'm relieved! Stoked, even.

DUDE, I've hit the indifference jackpot! If we go out, I don't have to censor myself AT ALL on any of my online channels. I can tweet about how excited I am for our date on Saturday because--guess what?--he'll never see it. I can make cutesy inside jokes about him on here and he won't get creeped out. In fact, he will be none the wiser.

I'm telling you, this is gonna rule. It'll be like I'm hanging out with a recently-thawed Encino Man. I should've done this a long time ago.