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| I'm "superbad" at playing it cool |
I'm sure Dr. Phil would tell me that I'm scared of falling in love and I'm in denial that it's happening, hence my silly behavior. And, that bald, mustachioed straight-shooter would probably be right. This usually lasts for a few weeks until I come to terms with my feelings and realize that I'm an asshat that shouldn't be kissing other boys when I'm just starting to date a rad one.
For the record, this is probably one of my stupidest habits. To make myself feel better, I want to ask if you do any stupid things when you first like someone too. Do you jump right in, picking out your children's names? Do you keep him a total secret from everyone in your life until you're official? Tell me in the comments.
16 comments:
I have a habit of IMing CONSTANTLY and subsequently smothering any chances in the process. I'M WORKING ON IT, OK?
I mostly keep it a secret until it's official, but that's just because I don't see the point of going through the process of introducing him to my friends if he's just going to peace out in a few weeks without saying a word. I like to make sure a dude is going to be sticking around for a while (and be sure that I actually like him) before I deal with that awkwardness.
I used to vow not to tell anyone about him, but in the process tell EVERYONE. Even strangers in the copy room. Now I'm at the point where I give him a codename and just never mention him to my mother, because she's the real jinx.
I run awaaaaaaay! Literally, physically run away from him. I get so nervous. I don't know what's wrong with me. I don't know how any dudes manage to deal with my shit. As Kimya Dawson sang, "I'm a pretty impossible lady to be with."
I'm LOVING your answers, you guys!
i do the same as you, anna. i try to seek out other guys to crush on so that my emotional intensity is diluted and doesn't scare away the one i really like.
I tend to over think things way too much once i start to really like someone. For example, text messages (does he really want to hang out or does he feel like he has to? Why is it taking so long to respond? Shit, I shouldn't have sent that last text, why isn't there a way to take them back?!)...but who can really decipher text conversations with romantic interests anyway?!
Don't you think smooching other guys is a way of calming your irrational fears? Like you say "I like this guy (let's call him Mr.X), and he seems to like me, but what if he doesn't?? What if he likes some cute intern?!?!?!"
So you smooch other guys until you realize "wait, if these normal/attractive guys are in to me instead of the intern, then I must have some innate quality that she doesn't possess, which I may not recognize but Mr.X does! Huzzah, this can work!!" And everyone lives happily ever after.
Until the relationship falls apart and leaves you with doubts about your self worth, starting the cycle anew.
That's a good theory, but I'm not usually insecure that Mr. X doesn't like ME, I'm more concerned with whether I like HIM. Does that make sense? If he wants an intern, god bless him. If that's what he wants then he probably shouldn't be with me in the first place!
I used to only date guys who I wasn't that interested in...so when a better one came along or I got bored it wasn't skin off my back. Then I met a man...who upon first meeting him I knew he was the one. Months later we started dating. It was torture ..but it was good because I rush things and then rush out. So the several month build up till we started dating, by the time we started dating I knew I loved him. Now its been almost three years- the longest I've ever been in a relationship, and many more years are on the horizon :)
I do the same thing as you, but I ALSO talk crap about him to all my friends... "He's kinda ugly... He's too boring for me... He wears ugly clothes... He's not that smart." None if it true, but I'll do and say anything to convince myself that I'm NOT falling for him!
Oh I am terrible. I can so caught up in everything and over analyze every little detail (his texts, the timing of his texts, every comment he made over drinks). It's awful! And then I name our children...
Really I swear I'm not that creepy.
Anna
I am dealing with this right now and I am concerned if I am INTO this guy as much as he is INTO me...I think about all the potential dates/guys/adventure travelers I may miss out on, if I decide he is the one I want to be with. Scared..and I tend to be self destructive when I meet someone and start to dig them...
I also do what Wonka does...ALL THE TIME.. I complained about how he dresses and such superficial details even if time with that guy is amazing
Why self sabotage? I don't get it. I've actually observed the behavior in action but it makes no sense. Just grow a pair of Fallopian tubes, and go for what you really want.
Easier said than done, darlin'. Well, admitting you have a problem is the first step to overcoming it, right?
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