My Life As Told Through Parks And Recreation

I like this guy. He seems nice.


We'll go out on a date. No problem there, right?


We could get some drinks.


Maybe go out dancing a bit. Sounds fun, doesn't it?


Well, on our date I was so nervous that I got wasted.


Shit got kinda crazy.


Like, REALLY crazy.


And we made out like idiots all over the place.


NOW HE HASN'T CALLED.


What should I do? Play it cool?


I waited five days and I still haven't heard from him.


FUCK THAT! We had a great time together! What's his problem?


So I called and left a friendly, upbeat voicemail message just to say hi because texting is for dorks.


Aaaaaaand, he didn't call back.


Great. Now I'm gonna be sick.


I should've let it go at that point, but I didn't. In a moment of weakness, I drunk emailed him something flirty. WTF is wrong with me?!?


Aaaaaand, he didn't write me back.


Oh god, I'm the worst! Why do I do this to myself?


Don't laugh. I feel like a bozo.


I know it's not the end of the world.


I'll be okay in a few days once I get my dignity back.


But I'm never going near alcohol, men, a telephone or a computer again.


That's a reasonable solution, right?