Thank You, Creepy Guy, For Making This Party More Fun While I Get A Buzz On

Sure, he's a stranger that's hovering over me which normally would make me uncomfortable, but I'm still trying to get my buzz on so I will enjoy his company at this house party for up to twenty minutes. It's clear that he wants my undivided attention which is weird because we just met two seconds ago. However, since my buddies haven't arrived yet, I don't know anyone else here and I like leaning up against this stove because I have a clear view of the front door, I'll give this conversation a whirl.

He's eager to tell me all about his life which, I'll admit, is keeping me entertained. Here's what I learned:

• He grew up fifteen minutes away 
• He's had the same job for eight years and his boss is a dick
• He thinks Howard Stern is funny
• Pizza is his favorite food 
• His sister cuts his hair
• He doesn't give a shit about hipsters but when pressed, admitted that he wasn't exactly sure who or what they were but he knows it when he sees it 

I'm not particularly interested in any of this, but I'm enjoying talking to him nonetheless. Oh, there are my friends! They just walked in. See ya around, my man! Thanks for talking my ear off for roughly twenty minutes while this party punch kicked in!