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| I can't even deal with this |
What is this fuckery? Guys, why do you do this? Of all the Bonerkillers I've ever written about, guys who refuse to walk with me while we're walking somewhere together would be at the top of the list as one of the worst offenses he could do. It is not only rude, but it's belittling and disrespectful. I'm getting angry just thinking about it.
An old boyfriend did this to me constantly. He refused to walk with me anywhere we went. Say we pulled up to a restaurant; he'd get out of his car and bolt to the front door, ignoring my pleas to wait for me so we could walk together. Or, we'd go to the mall and he'd freakin' powerwalk ten feet ahead of me. I hated it. We'd get in fights about it regularly. Have you ever gotten in a fight about walking with someone? It's seriously the dumbest fight of all time. "OF ALL TIME! -Kanye West."
A guy did this to me recently and I pretty much lost my mind. I slowed down a bit to see if he'd notice that I wasn't keeping up with his pace and he didn't. I watched him zip up the street, leaving me behind. He didn't even care that I wasn't keeping up. You know what I did next? I stopped, turned around and walked away. Fuck it. If he can't be bothered to walk with me like a respectful human being then I can't be bothered to follow his crazy ass. He can motor on up the street and find some other girl 'cause I'm not 17 anymore and I'm not putting up with this shit.
45 comments:
Awesome deGrasse Tyson gif.
Ha! Thank you.
so true. I don't understand how after several direct and clear comments about how much I HATE it, he still doesn't get it! Do I need a leash? We are going to the SAME PLACE. We're going to the same checkout and I have the cart, are you saving a spot in line???? WTF?
I once walked down the subway steps & rode home before such a fucker (who'd crossed the street & kept walking) had any idea I was gone.
Walk faster.
Men have places to be and things to do. We walk quickly so we can get to those places and do those things. We are ambitious. Keep up.
so totally identify. my ex-bf would do this to me constantly. even when HIS friends were visiting and we would walk places he would leave us all behind. made me feel a little better, actually, that it wasn't just me.
I find it fantastic that you turned around and walked the other direction. Brava!
As always, love your stuff.
Hate that so much too!!! My ex boyfriend would charge across the street on the yellow or red and then while waiting for the light to change so I could cross, he would stand on the other side looking at me like I was stupid for not walking into traffic/holding him up. UGH.
Notice how all these stories are about EX boyfriends. Men, take note: You'll get dumped if you keep doing this crap!
People who don't walk with the group or partner have social issues. Dudes need to slow down a bit, and ladies need to wear comfortable enough shoes.
You are an absolute legend for walking off on him without a word. Brilliant!
Can we find a happy medium? Maybe speed your walk up a little bit? I find it difficult to walk slow. I actually have to concentrate on walking slow.
I think you misunderstood: it's not that I walk slow, it's that he doesn't want to walk with me. I have lots of friends and we all walk around like a happy gang chatting and laughing like normal people. So when a guy somehow decides that he's not interested in doing that even when I explicitly ask him to walk with me, I lose my mind a little bit.
Oh, and thanks, Rash! It felt good to walk away, like I finally stood up for myself. Teenager me would've been proud.
It's NOT about a guy having things to do, places to go, or people to see. It's about a guy who has no respect for women. My EX BOYFRIEND did the same thing. I knew I was in big trouble when we visited his mother and he spoke to her so disrespectfully. You've heard it before ladies - "The way a guy treats his mother and sisters is the way he'll treat you." Again, THIS IS MY EX-BOYFRIEND. Bob Boys are you reading this?
Wait, guys actually do this? To me that just...doesn't compute. Why would you go somewhere with someone if you aren't interested in actually, you know, spending the time with them? I could see doing that if you were seriously pissed or maybe were running late and wanted to make sure you reserved the [whatever] in time, but otherwise WTF?
My current bf used to do this all the time! I started hiding in doorways or tuck into an alley every time he would do this and watch him freak out when he finally realized he lost me and I couldn't help but giggle watching him look around for me and then I would jump out and scare him. Now we walk at the same pace, ha!
I recently was taken all the way to Boston (three hours from us) to a Red Sox game only to have to rush to keep up with him "walking" to the ball park. Are you kidding me? (It was a little over a week ago and I'm already broken up with him, not just because of this but it should be.) We were together for a year. Not only is he walking ahead God forbid I might want to stop and look at something because, oh I don't know, I'm in a city I haven't been to in years. He did not do this when we first started dating. I'm sorry but it really takes months to really get to know someone.
I'm glad I found this article bc I had an ex do this to me whenever we'd go to the farmer's market. He'd walk ahead of me and act as if we weren't even there together. It's not like we were in a hurry either. We were casually strolling through the market. I found it completely disrespectful, rude and degrading. It was one of many red flags that I overlooked. Looking back I wished I had hopped in a cab and ended things right then and there. I would've saved myself a year of being involved with a toxic loser. I only have myself to blame for tolerating unacceptable behavior. Never again :-)
My boyfriend does this to me all the time. And trust me, I can take care of myself, but its just ridiculous when we are supposed to be walking together (we don't even look like we're together!) . I feel like my man should be somewhat my protector but he cant even walk next to me. Sometimes i would just wait or duck behind somewhere just to see if he ever noticed. Its very disrespectful and he just doesn't get it when i try to explain to him why it isn't right. ugh, fucking men.
Anna thank you sooooo much for this article! its good to know that its not just me that this has happened to and that I wasn't overreacting. I recently had a few dates with a guy who did this, he would steam up the road without so much as looking behind him leaving me to run to keep up. One time he just darted across the road and left me on the pavement. The even sadder part is that he didnt stop on the other side he just kept on walking! Another time we were walking down a hilled street that had cobblestones, again he just charged ahead leaving me to stumble down in my heels whilst holding onto the wall for support. (yes I know some will say I shouldnt have been wearing heels but it was Saturday night and I was dressed for the occassion). Thinking back he always walked through any door ahead of me too, wouldnt dream of holding it open for me. Aside from this obvious lack of regard it soon became apparent that he has little or no respect for women as he threw in some pretty inapproriate sexual convo on our last date, mocked me and made me feel pretty uncomfortable. Long story short ladies if a guy is leaving you in the dust straight off the bat its probably a sign of things to come and he will start to exhibit other rude and disrespectful behaviours. Do what Anna did - turn and RUN!
Well Said!
Well Said!
Same thing also happens to me - I'm shorter than my partner and have made comments on numerous occasions that he should slow down. When I say that he walks faster than me because his legs are longer I just get an eye-roll and told that I need to walk faster as he's not slowing down because I'm too slow. One time after a fresh snowfall he left the house first and I tried to walk in the footprints he left in the snow - it was hard to keep my balance because his footsteps were so far apart! He didn't even care when I showed him the snowfall example "look at how difficult it is for me to walk in your footsteps!!!" I still got told I need to walk faster. Ugh - my legs can't even move that far.
Wow I didn't realize there are so many rude ass men out there! I love my bf to death but I feel so disrespected when he does this..it's everyday! I do my best to go fast to keep up and it seems like he just goes faster!! He did not do this in the beginning so I know it's possible for him to walk beside me so wtf?? If I say anything he just says that I am slow..but I literally have to run to keep up..I don't know what to do. Am I making a big deal about nothing? Or is he disrespecting me and being an asshole?
My girlfriend does this. I tell her it's humiliating and I feel like she's embarrassed to be seen with me and it hurts me. Her response is that she yells at me and says I'm being controlling and yells angrily "do I need your permission to walk?" I just tell her I want to walk next to her like normal people do. It seems like a non-issue to me, that walking next to someone you are with is common sense normal behavior and that my feelings are deeply hurt otherwise. She just yells at me and says she's going to walk however the eff she wants to and I can't stop her. Women do this to men, too.
YAS! I dont know what is worse... Power walker or a man who stays behind! I am not a fast walker and my ex boyfriend would lag behind me, not looking around, just kindly walking feet behind me! I would get so angry!! Made me feel so embarrassed and uncomfortable like I was his mom. Funny how guys walk WITH their friends... seems to me like its a subconscious way of showing where the relationship stands.
It is so rude!..like one comment to intentionally slow down, I did the same thing on a date and he left me behind at a stoplight as he crossed the street alone. He waited on the other side until the walk light went back on and it was time for me to cross. He had no idea I was trailing behind. He was in his own world. WhY not just be alone? ..this is a 44 year old man. Has no other woman ever talked to him about this?..I think it is a HUGE red flag he is a selfish man. I love the idea of walking away!..I will definently do that if it happens again!.
My husband did this to me recently. We go to church in separate cars since he stays longer. He sees me, then powerwalks to the door leaving me 20 feet behind. The gentleman at the door took notice. After saying good-morning to them, their response to each other as I turn the corner was, "I think! (laughing)". I felt so humiliated and wanted to cry during the entire service. The other memorable time he did this was 18 years ago at a special event when we were engaged. I was so furious and hurt that I wanted to give him his ring back. Kudos to the girl that walked the other direction. I will tell my daughter to do the same if this ever happens to her when she starts dating.
He's being an asshole if he still does this after bringing it to his attention.
He’s a piece of shit for thinking that way
I will flip out if a guy does this to me even if we’re just dating casually. I’m entitled to be trested like the lady I am.
And this is why I’m single and a total bitch to men at the very moment they try and pull this crap with me. I won’t tolerate it.
And this is why I’m single and a total bitch to men at the very moment they try and pull this crap with me. I won’t tolerate it.
I had an ex that treated me the same way. That's one of the main reasons I left him. He treated his mom, sisters and nieces like that. It was awful.
Good for You! I wish I would have thought of doing that to the sorry loser I was with a while back.
Same thing happened to me yesterday, and not for the first time. I had a stomach and headache, so I was basically incapable of walking faster. We had a good time coming back from vacation, but because of his walking in front of me I got pissed and it ruined the mood. The thing is: he's not even faster: he just walks with the same speed 5 meters ahead of me.
After walking behind him like a beaten dog for a couple of minutes, I turned the other way and headed home alone. Texted him that I'm on my way back home. He was so pissed that right before the apartment, he passed me again and walked in front of me and didn't speak a word, even after I apologized for going home alone and explaining why I was not following him anymore. Such a drama...
I'm exhausted. Love him, but man, I wish he had a bit of empathy for why this behavior is signaling a lack of respect...
He still did this when i had a torn meniscus!
This is my life. He has always just left me in the dust. Even when on 'pleasure' walks. I have spent the last 2 days in bed. So depressed. Dude even has to be told to smile in pictures. I am not kidding. Can't believe this is my life. Just so complicated. Wish I had a magic wand. And NO my dad never treated my mom this way. I am just an idiot.
Exactly!!
Sad, I thought it was only the other way around. I feel the same and get berated for it all the time. It hurts, and I hate being blamed for the problem.
Agree!
Same feelings, did not realise so many felt the same. Still married but have finally come to see this problem for what I truly believe it is.
I am suprised to see it happens alot. I love my used to be fiance until i gave him his ring back because he made me feel so special with his lack of affection and walking ahead of me. Problem is i still love him and we are still together. I do believe he does love me but just doesnt know how to show affection because he says he never had a good relationship with his mother only because she never showed him any affection. He does try in other ways such as being a good provider and he always trys to settle me down when i get upset. We are living together for 6 years. When i gave him his ring back i was upset about the lack of affection and he made the comment that hes never going to get married and give half his stuff to anyone. I said fine heres your ring im not wearing one that means absolutly nothing. I have decided to let alot go because if i keep letting it bother me it will end and thats not what i want. We go on alot of walks with our dog for exercise for all if us. I have arthritis in both knees and he has a larger stride then me so i told him i didnt care i will walk at my own pace and stop and enjoy the scenery whrn i want. As far as the engagenent thing i figure im not sporting the ring and so as far as im concerned if someone comes along and proves to me that there is someone better out there for me then i guess im free to make my move cause hes not locked this relationship down. Whatever lifes to short relationships are constant work. At least hes not an alcholic and beats me which ive had before. I still love him and until he tells me to move out i am right where i want to be and am not giving up. I love him i believe he loves me he has said it several times hes just not an affectionate person. Am i wrong to deal with this i know it hasnt been easy at times.
We just spent a weekend out of town where he held my hand while navigating a stadium football game crowd, but when we landed at our hometown airport he bolted. (I'm a fast walker too) When I finally caught up to him I told him he was rude for leaving me behind. He said he was just in a hurry to get home? What, without me?? Why does he care sometimes and other times he doesn't? I just realized that he's done this to me off and on for years.(that's why I did and online search and ended up here) Thank God I'm not alone on this. Ladies, pay attention, actions speak louder than words.
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