I Love Love Love When He Tucks His Hat Into His Back Pocket

This is hilarious because I'm normally not even super enthusiastic about guys' butts! Sure, I'm happy they exist but they're not on my radar or anything. It's not the first body part of his I'd ogle. I'm not even sure if it'd be in the top 5 of his body parts I'd ogle. I'm more into his face, hair, eyes, smile, and hands. That's just off the top of my head. Butts don't even make the cut.

However, let me tell you, that slouchy cap tucked into his back pocket is making me notice something I wouldn't have noticed before. It's like his version of a padded bra. I can't help staring. I'm transfixed! He's leaning over the bar trying to flag the bartender down and I'm licking my lips like when Newman hallucinated that Kramer was a roasted chicken.

And, the best part is that he's totally unaware that I'm checking him out. Unless he has eyes in the back of his head or something, I'm free to subject to him to my lustful gaze. You hear that? That's the sound of me contorting my body to pat myself on the back for finding one more way to be creepy on the sly.