Seriously, I'm staaaaarving |
If I'm over at his house and it's late and I'm hungry, I'm almost always shit out of luck. If I ask if there's anything for us to eat, I get to watch him rummage through his kitchen like he's discovering everything for the first time. He's flipping through his cupboards and swinging the freezer door open, totally unaware of their contents.
"Huh. I have half a frozen pizza and some ice cream. No wait, the carton's empty. Nevermind. I have some pickles, but they're pretty old. I have six Triscuits, no wait (shakes the box) like, four Triscuits. I can make you some soup? I'm pretty sure I have a can around here somewhere."
A guy's kitchen is a constant source of disappointment like consistent sizing at Old Navy or the show 2 Broke Girls. So, when he takes the initiative to make us appetizing snacks, I'm genuinely surprised and pleased. I'm surpleased. Sure, I'll jam on some chips and salsa. An olive medley? Okey doke! Even a little dish of raw almonds would be grand. Really, serving me anything other than Pringles crumbs is gonna make him look like Jose Garces.
This is the most basic thing on the planet, but snacks go a long way. Boys, guys, and men, please brush up on your snack game. I beg you. I swear, it makes all the difference.
4 comments:
Omg damn straight. I have this fantasy of one day marrying a chef. But this is definitely a good start!
Re: I Love Love Love Snack Preparers
After reading this checked my fridge/apartment:
Beverages -
Iced Tea
Cold Water
Coffee/Cream
Navel Oranges
3 Hard Boiled Eggs
Flour Tortillas w/butter (add Strawberry Jam for "American-Style Crepe")
White Bread/Ham/Bolognia/Cheese/Mayo Thin Sandwiches (Am willing to cut diagonally for Triangle Shape & Remove Crust)
Also, think I would invest in jars of Artichoke Hearts & Palm Hearts for you, if you like.
-- Allan Smithee
Just checked my fridge:
Beer
Beer
Condiments
Perfect.
re:
Just checked my fridge:
Beer
Beer
Condiments
More well stocked than I am. Have no sugar/salt/pepper nor ketchup/mustard
-- Allan Smithee
Note: Need to make a WaWA run and pick up those freebies.
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