I Will Rule The Shmittenpuff House With An IRON FIST!

The rad dudes of Geekadelphia and Indy Hall made me a professor at Blogwarts, a "new school of blogging, split into four separate houses, each with their own unique methods of teaching; Geekindor, Sylthertech, Shmittenpuff, and Philebriclaw." This is fantastic, although I'm still unclear about the perks of the position. Do I get to hook up with any of the other professors? Do I get to sneak liquor into the school dances? Whatever! I'm happy to be involved.

Me, in cartoon form.
Just between us, the boobs should be bigger

Let's learn more about my house. According to the site:

You might belong in Shmittenpuff/ Where they are bubbly, sweet and loyal/ Those lovely Shmittenpuffs are true/ And unafraid of toil” - The Sorting Klout 

The house of Shmittenpuff is run by a single bold woman, Professor Anna Goldfarb of Shmitten Kitten. While the founders of Slythertech and Geekindor clash, Professor Goldfarb gets along with all houses. Goldfarb founded Shmittenpuff to teach students how to create the perfect first date mix tape, crafting poignant and insightful pie charts, and to instruct students in her most popular course, Animated Gifs Against the Dark Arts. 

Students of Shmittenpuff should be: 

• Loyal 
• Dedicated 
• Patient 
• Friendly 
• Cheerful 
• Kind 

Current professors at the Shmittenpuff House include Marisa McClellan of Food in Jars, who teaches potions, and Melissa Morris Ivone of Operation NICE, who teaches Defense Against the Dark Arts. Famous former Shmittenpuffs include Pink. Interested applicants should apply here. Attach an animated .gif that perfectly describes your last relationship.

This is adorable and I'm incredibly flattered to be included. Thanks, fellas!