Things In His House That Make Me Glad: Projecting TV Shows And Movies On His Wall Like A Boss

I seriously love when guys rig up projectors like this. We should have a national holiday honoring homeboys who single-handedly transform their drafty South Philly row homes into luxurious cinema-esque living room experiences. If it weren't for his noisy neighbors constantly slamming their screen door every 20 minutes, I'd almost feel like I was on an episode of Cribs.

Thanks to his bitchin' set-up, now we can kick back, drink some beers and watch Drive like we're Arabian princes or successful rappers.

And, just when I thought I couldn't be more relaxed or entertained, if he kicks it up a notch and rubs my feet during the movie, let's just say that my work on this planet is done. Just kill me right then and there because my life will never get better than that moment. A foot rub and a giant TV? Dare I dream? Just thinking about it is making my relax-o-meter jump from "listening to Belle & Sebastian's earlier albums" to "sipping coffee and nibbling on whole wheat toast on a Sunday morning" to "getting a head massage from a muscular Swedish man with capable, trained hands." Holy shit! I'm so relaxed I'm practically melting into a puddle of purrs.