This Might Be The Tequila Talking, But Fuck Apple Security Info In Their Fucking Face

I was updating the Twitter app on my Mac when I was prompted by Apple to update my security info. "Sure," I thought. "This seems like a reasonable thing to do." So far so good, right? I filled out my first two security questions with ease. (Yes, my first concert was New Kids on the Block. I was in 6th grade and I wore a pink mock turtleneck and baggy, acid-washed jeans. Oof.) But, the options for the third security question were a bit of a nose crinkler. See?

I don't have a partner to take trips with, Apple Security Info. Jeez. Get off my back. I'm a single, ex-New Kids on the Block fan who's first job was working at a candy store. This is my life reduced to a trio of security questions. "I don't want your life!" -James Van Der Beek, Varsity Blues.

I've never had a security question make me so defensive before. Clearly, the team at Apple Security doesn't realize that times are tough dating-wise these days. Frankly, I'm not in the mood to think about why I don't have a guy to take trips with. I don't know. Texting? I feel like texting plays a part in that? Lame emoticons? General lack of chemistry with most men my age? Fuck, I don't know. I just want to update my Twitter app in peace, thank you very much.

And now I'm in the mood to listen to "Step by Step" because if that doesn't cheer me up, then nothing will. (FYI, I still know all the words to the song by heart!)