I'm not sure if I agree! On one hand, guys you can't have naturally have more allure than the ones you can. (Well, as much allure as a normal dude who likes sports, has had the same best friends since middle school and drives a shitty car with fucked up brakes can possess.)
On the other hand, if a guy is in a relationship, I'm not like, "Oh wow! I can't wait to boing his brains out." However, if he's a good boyfriend, I might think, "I want a cool boyfriend like him" because I'll see him acting rad. I'll observe him sending his girlfriend texts in a timely manner or picking up food for her while we're out because she's home sick and he thinks she'd like ice cream. When you hang out with single dudes, you don't really ever get to see them in "relationship mode," you just see them in "single dude mode," which--newsflash!--isn't as much of a turn-on.
Guys in relationships act differently than when they're single too; there's less pressure when they meet a girl because it's not like he's trying to land a woman or anything. Therefore, he might act more confident and we all know that confidence is sexy.
I don't know. What do you think? Tell me in the comments!
8 comments:
completely average men in relationships are way more attractive that completely average guys on a date with me....
when i'm a relationship i don't really care or pay attention to women like i would if i was single. to the point where friends would have to explicitly tell me that a woman was eyeing me. i do also innately feel better about myself in relationship mode, and less stressed talking to a woman because my "single guy" gear isn't turning in my head. so your confidence theory has some evidence. maybe the perceived aloofness has an effect too.
it's nice and, sadly, refreshing to see a dude care about someone outside himself. when i see my married friends and my guy friends who are good boyfriends doing nice things for their ladies, i think,"wow, i'd like someone who does nice things like that." but it doesn't make me want that individual more.
it just reminds me of the qualities that i'm looking for in a guy.
PS - i'm not implying that men are the only selfish ones out there and that women can't be complete self-centered turds. not my intention at all.
(also, reviews of my boyfriendness have received high marks. just throwin' that out there.)
Based on my experiences when I'm involved with someone...yeah, I think the theory has merit. If not necessarily in terms of women wanting me specifically, more in the sense of "Why can't I find a guy like that?"
Funny thing, though. You can. In fact, you've probably already overlooked a guy like that. And you probably did it for valid reasons at the time, too. Like, his car has fucked up breaks and you don't want to be out with him on a nice Sunday drive to go antiquing or something, and plow into a telephone pole. Or maybe he was objectively attractive...but you just couldn't see yourself ever being head-over-heels in lust for him.
But on the other hand, maybe what seemed like loud chewing on a first date might actually not be that noticeable by date #3 when he'd managed to charm you with his in-depth knowledge of your favorite band or his emotional availability striking a marked contrast with his male contemporaries.
Actually, on second though, loud chewing is REALLY annoying.
I find that I often have better conversations with men who are already in a relationship. This is at least partially because I know where I stand. There's no 'are we talking about subject a...but really you're determining whether you'd like to kissing me'? We are talking because we both actually have interest in whatever the topic is. So I would say I find myself more comfortable with already paired men, as far as not worrying about impressing them. But am I more attracted to them? Not really, because I already know it's off the table...and what good comes of going down that road? No good (is the answer).
I agree it's a confidence thing, since they aren't looking they are happy and confident with themselves which is way better than the opposite.
Would getting a fake internet girlfriend be a solution to making yourself more attractive? http://www.sex.com/news/blog/2013/02/04/valentines-day-gift-guide-part-3/
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