Things That Make Me A Bad Boyfriend: I Take Bar Trivia Too Seriously

Bar trivia is an awesome idea. What better way to spend an evening than drinking beer and answering ridiculous questions about obscure topics no one should really know about? Personally, nothing makes me feel more manly than proving I know that the fifth stage of the modern pentathlon is pistol shooting.

There is one key problem with bar trivia, however. Just like the guy on every slow pitch softball team that spends $800 on a bat and keeps track of slugging percentage, there is always one person who takes bar trivia too seriously.

That person is me.

It’s not like I mean to get so overly involved. I’d love to sit back and act like I don’t care that our team thinks Lionel Richie wrote “Maneater” when I know that Hall and Oates are responsible for that musical gem.

But inevitably I find myself dissecting every question and taking it hard when my CLEARLY superior knowledge of mid-'80s basketball trivia is called into question. Perhaps the competitive family "Jeopardy!" nights created some bad habits I never quite overcame?

My issues aren’t limited to what happens on my team, either. I’ve been known to take a casual trip to the “bathroom” just to make sure no one is cheating on their smartphones. Not to mention the rage that builds up in my system when someone gets a tiebreaker question correct that no one would know without cheating. Chances are if someone is able to say exactly how many centimeters tall Mount Washington is, they are probably consulting their pocket version of Wikipedia.

I’ll have to work on my bar trivia approach and crank the intensity down a notch or three. It might take time. Until then, my tendency to ruin bar trivia may make me a bad boyfriend.